The Rings of Misfortune
by Aria Breuer
Summary: Frodo has to destroy the Rings of Misfortune. Harry wants to destroy Horcuxes. What happens when the two team up? Worlds collide! A mashed-up parody, told in one-shots. Features the "Star Wars" fandom.
1. One-Shot: A Ring or a Horcrux?

**Disclaimers:** I do not own _The Lord of the Rings_ and _Harry Potter_. J.R.R. Tolkien and J.K. Rowling does. All canon material belongs to their respected owners. All original material belongs to me, the authoress of this fanfiction story.

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I'm at it again with parodies! :) This one going to get a little crazy. Enjoy. :)

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Frodo was asleep on his cushioned chair. It was midday. Nothing exciting ever happened on midday, except for the local chickens. He opened his eyes. Someone was banging on the door. He yawned, stretched his muscles, and walked towards the front green door. So far, he was expecting to see no one to come to his house.

He looked out. There was no one there. His brow furrowed. Something didn't sit well.

"Must have been a duck," Frodo said, closing the door. He jumped upon seeing the three strangest creatures inside his house. One was an elf with pale skin and bald hair, another was furry, and the other one was staring at a gold ring.

"Ohhh!" The furry creature took the ring, passing it to Frodo. "Is this yours?"

"Thank you, but who are you?" Frodo asked, confused.

"Gurgi!" the furry creature introduced himself.

"Dobby the House Elf," Dobby said, politely.

"And I'm Smeaagol!" the lanky creature said, sinister. "Now, give me that ring! Oomph!" He crashed right into the wall, landing in the dirt. "That was neat! Let's do that again!"

 _Smash!_ He kept breaking through the walls without delay.

"You'll break something, Sméagol! Don't burn down the house! Ohh!" Frodo shook his head, startled to see the two other creatures roam around his house. He looked at his ring in confusion. Oh, what to do with it? Oh! He got it! He should throw it into the fire! No. That wasn't good. He couldn't throw it into his parlor fireplace, the Fireplace of Death, the only fireplace to destroy rings. "No, you'll stay with me."

The doorbell rang. Frodo approached the door and opened it. To his surprise, no one was there again. "This is getting weird." He closed the door, this time surprised by three guests standing behind him. "Whoa! Who are you? Fiends!" He pulled out his club, ready to whack them.

"We're Harry, Ron, and Hermione," the girl pleaded. "Please, don't hurt us!"

"What are you doing here? In my house, too!" Frodo cried, realizing he wasn't in danger. "Oh!" He tossed the club away, surprised that it landed on a mole. Not just any mole. The Mole. The greatest adversary found in any story. "Oh, I am so sorry!"

The Mole poked his head out of the dirt hole. It wasn't an animal. It was a man. A hobbit man. A very disagreeable man. "Of all the nerve!"

"You're welcome, Lotho!" Frodo smiled at him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, back to work!" Lotho cried, returning to his hole.

"Is that the Ring of Misfortune?" Hermione asked, pointing to the gold ring on Frodo's hand. "You should destroy it before it destroys you!"

"Wait. This isn't the Ring of Misfortune!" Harry took the ring from Frodo's hand. "This is a Horcrux. A very dangerous weapon capable of stealing souls and ripping them in two!"

"Give it here! It's mine!" Frodo cried, fighting Harry for the ring.

"Someone else should destroy it, but where?" Ron suggested.

"The Fireplace of Death!" Frodo and Harry said in unison. They rushed towards the parlor fireplace, still fighting for the ring.

"You throw it in!" Harry said, handing the ring to Frodo.

"No! You destroy it!" Frodo passed the ring back to him.

"No! You do it!" Harry passed the ring to him again.

"No, you!" Frodo said, fighting Harry again for the ring.

"Oh please!" Hermione grabbed the ring and tossed it into the fireplace.

Frodo grinned. "Well, that worked out."

 _Boom!_

"Let's get out of here!" Hermione said, rushing towards the door.

"Come on!" Ron said, grabbing Frodo and helping him outside. Harry followed behind them, keen on reaching safety. The second the four were outside, Frodo looked again. There was Gollum and Dobby, flying out the kitchen window. Gurgi followed with two large chicken legs. As Gurgi gorged on the food, Frodo looked again at the house, sighing in relief.

"Well, at least it can't get any—" Frodo's smile faded. Bag End collapsed, leaving it in ruins. "—worse. My house! It's destroyed!" He turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione, asking them, "Now, where am I supposed to live?"

"You could live with us!" Hermione suggested.

"Come on, mate. It's better than staying here," Ron said, clasping a hand on his shoulder.

Frodo looked again at his house. There was nothing left except to follow his new friends to their house, where he hoped he didn't break something… again.

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Thanks for reading. :)

 **References:**

Gurgi is from Disney's animated film, "The Black Cauldron".


	2. One-Shot: Food Fight!

This one-shot focuses on the meme, "Yer a wizard, Frodo. Use the Force." We're crossing with "Star Wars" this time. :) Enjoy. :)

Thanks goes to Adeleidhis for helping me with ideas for this chapter. :)

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Frodo stepped out of the carriage. To his surprise, there was a skeletal horse guiding the carriage. Literally. He jumped upon seeing it, watching it lick him, before taking off into the woods. He looked back, stunned to see Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave their carriage untrampled. He didn't like nearly being trampled on by the second horse.

"Hey! Watch it!" Frodo shouted in fury. He growled, hoping the ruthless carriages wouldn't return. He turned to the three friends, asking them, "So, where is Hogwarts?"

"It's this way!" Hermione said, leading the way.

"Is she always this bossy?" Frodo asked Ron, curious.

"You should see her around food!" Ron said, shaking his head. "She doesn't want me to eat three courses in one meal!"

"I heard that!" Hermione said, gesturing them forward. "Come on."

"You're going to love it here! There's spells, enchantments, the Force—" Ron was slugged by Harry.

"Don't tell him that!" Harry whispered loudly, too loud in fact.

"Um… what are you two talking about?" Frodo asked, curious.

"Oh, never mind. Just come along!" Hermione shouted from a near distance away. Frodo sighed, regretting his decision to come to this school… if it was a school.

.

Nope. His instincts served him right! They were at a school, which happened to be inside a castle. There were so many students here and there, as well as people wearing robes in different shades. Hmm. This school seemed friendly enough… that is until he was stopped by a dark robed man, who blocked his path.

"Hey, watch it! Oh, I'm sorry. I should have looked," the dark robed man said, helping him out.

"No. That's fine! Who are you?" Frodo asked the man, curious.

"Well—" the man was cut off by a very scruffy man, donned in a long beard. Frodo chuckled. He nearly thought this scruffy man was a dwarf.

"He's Anakin Skywalker!" the scruffy man rushed towards him. "I'm Hagrid!" He added with full confidence, "Welcome to Hogwarts!" Hagrid winked at the hobbit.

"Um… thanks," Frodo said, uncertainty in his eyes. He said as well, "Well, it was nice staying here! So, I guess I'll get going!" He tried to sneak away, only to be blocked by the dark robed man.

"Now wait a second. That's not how it works, Frodo Baggins," Anakin said with a smirk.

"How do you know my name?" Frodo asked, confused.

"Yer a wizard, Frodo," Hagrid said, getting the hobbit's attention. "Yer gonna do great things with that wand of yours. The wand that's in yer pocket!"

Frodo searched through his pocket, pulling out an extendable wand almost as long as a huge sword. Frodo grinned, swishing the wand until it broke. He sobbed, not liking that his toy was broken.

"Here. How about this?" Anakin said, brandishing a silver-plated hilt. "It's your very own lightsaber. Go on. Click it!"

Frodo pressed the button. A blue beam soared from it, growing in size and causing destruction to the stairs. Frodo searched for the silver wheel and turned it, adjusting to a smaller sized beam. He sighed in relief. He was okay.

"What do I do?" Frodo asked, feeling giddy. "I can feel the Force growing inside of me!" His stomach grumbled loudly. "Oh, maybe it was my stomach." He clicked off the lightsaber, allowing the beam to return to its hilt, before stowing the weapon on his belt.

"Well, lunch is being served inside," Ron said, leading the way into the Great Hall. Frodo followed, unsure what he would find there.

.

The second Frodo entered the Great Hall, he was stunned by the enormous food fight. All around were a bunch of dwarves – in fact, there was nothing but dwarves in this hall. The gentle-hobbit did his best to avoid food splattering, but he couldn't. Somehow, the situation wasn't helping.

He brandished his lightsaber, smacking watermelon after watermelon. Some, if not most, of the food landed on his clothes. He tried chopping up the food with the lightsaber, turning it into mince pies. The mince pies let out a scream, as did most of the food. It was a nightmare.

"Save us! SAAAAVVVVEEE USSSSS—" The mince pies cried, only to be devoured by a ginormous squirrel. It was the weirdest thing Frodo ever saw.

"What did that squirrel have for dinner?" Frodo asked, right as he was pounded by pudding.

"I believe it was rat tonic. He must have grown big," Ron said, doing his best to avoid the food.

"I need to get out of – here!" Frodo cried, as he was smacked by a crème pie. He told the trio and Anakin. "Look, I need to go back home. See that it's rebuilt. No more Fireplaces of Death!"

"What about the Rings of Misfortune?" Ron said, surprised to see Harry carrying an assortment of rings.

"I'll destroy them – into that fireplace!" Harry said, pointing out a massive stone fireplace. "It's the Yawning Fireplace of Death. It works for destroying rings and horcruxes."

"Great. Now there's a Yawning Fireplace of Death," Frodo said, as more food splashed onto him. "When is this madness going to stop?"

"Come on! This is the only way to end it!" Harry said, passing a bunch of rings over to Frodo.

Frodo looked at the rings in wonder and in terror. He didn't want to destroy the rings. Surely, there must have been something else. He looked at the Yawning Fireplace of Death. No! It moved its mouth in and out. He wouldn't look at the rings this time – he wouldn't – but they glowed so brightly.

"Frodo, throw the rings in there! Do it! NOW!" Ron cried, getting the hobbit's attention.

"Like this!" Harry said, taking the rings from Frodo's hands and tossing them into the fire. Frodo was furious, watching the rings melt into the flames.

"Why couldn't I destroy them?" Frodo asked, stunned as more pudding splashed on his backside.

"Maybe you have an addiction to gold," Hermione answered, repelling some food back with her wand and a few spells.

"I need to leave… NOW!" Frodo cried, right as he was smacked in the head by an apple. He collapsed on the floor, unsure what was happening around him.

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Thanks for reading. :)

 **Guest Reviews:**

 _James Birdsong:_ Thank you for your kind words. :) I'm glad you're enjoying reading this story so far. I hope you like this one-shot, too :)


	3. One-Shot: Cannonfire

This is the last one-shot for this fanfic.

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Frodo awoke in bed. He didn't know how long he slept. Just that that dream was strange. Fireplaces of Death. Rings of Misfortune. He was a wizard and could control the Force. Seriously, what did he dream up?

He moved into the kitchen to get some tea. Something to ease his mind. Surely, it was just a dream. Nothing more.

He turned and looked again, surprised to see a cannon aimed right at his kitchen window. "What the—" He ducked out of the way. No way! That cannonball blasted through his wall! Seriously, was his house going to be destroyed again? Didn't he already go through that last time? "Hey, this is my house! You have no right to blast it to smithereens!"

"We're sorry, Mr. Baggins! It's cleaning day!" One dwarf protested upfront.

"We're cleaning out your house!" Another dwarf spoke, blasting a cannonball through the parlor window.

"You're causing a lot of destruction!" Frodo shouted back, annoyed. He shook his head, observing the damage. "My poor house, blown to bits!" He sighed, retreating into the dining room for some relief. "Well, at least it can't get any worse."

"Oomph!" it was Gurgi! Gurgi was in his house! Not again!

"What are you doing here, Gurgi? Go home!" Frodo told him, attempting to shoo the creature away.

"Gurgi doesn't want to cause trouble, no! Gurgi was blasted here by big cannon!" Gurgi cried, jumping up and down unexpectedly.

"Calm down! I'm sure this house will be fine!" Frodo said, sipping his drink.

 _Blast!_

Frodo looked around in terror. His house was completely destroyed, again! The only room that was left standing was the dining room. Really? Were they trying to make him leave? Oh, he couldn't take this.

"I can't take this!" Frodo shouted at the top of his lungs. "This is completely, completely… unacceptable." He cracked up laughing. He couldn't help it. His house was destroyed twice and already he found it funny. Well, there was no sense in staying here any longer. Oh, where could he go to now?

Back to Hogwarts? Back to the life he only saw a glimpse of? But who could save him from this mess? He turned and looked, watching a blue car zip down to him, its doors opening wide.

"Hop in!" Ron called, gesturing for him to step inside the vehicle.

Frodo shrugged. "Where else am I going to go?" He waved to the dwarves as they caused more destruction, even to the point of ruining Bag End's garden. Samwise Gamgee was furious. Frodo laughed, stepping into the car and closing the door.

The drive to Hogwarts was pleasant, but even more enjoyable the second he came to the Great Hall and embraced the Jedi, Anakin Skywalker. He didn't know why he did it. He just felt like it.

"Are you okay?" Anakin asked, releasing him.

"I've never been happier," and he meant it. Every single word.

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 **Guest Review:**

 _James Birdsong:_ That's good to hear. :) I'm glad the one-shots turned out well. Thank you for your kind words, too. :) I hope you have a good day/night. :) And I'm glad you enjoyed reading this story. :)

~o~

That's it for this story. :)

Thanks goes to the following guests who reviewed this fanfic: James Birdsong. Thanks goes to the following people who favorited and followed this story: Gracie Miserables. Thanks everyone for reviewing, favoriting, following, and reading this fanfic until the end. It is much appreciated. :)

I got out of the humor mood in the last chapter. I think I got it back into the humor mood during this one-shot. :) So, that's exciting. :)

Anyway, thanks for reading. :) I'll see everyone in the next story. Bye! :)

 _Aria Breuer_


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